Top Ten Ways To Get Rid of Telemarketers

Its 4am in the morning the phone rings and “Charlie” master telemarketer extrodinare has the best deal of the year to tell you about! Charlie lives In a different time zone and isn’t privy to the fact it is 4am where YOU are, but luckily, “Charlie” has AT & T because he has more bars in more places to call YOU from at 4am with his deals! Telemarketers oh!

And never mind that there are those “do-not –call” lists who pays attention to those, who the hell has those lists anyhow ? Oh yeah all those spammers that want to fill your inbox at the crack of dawn , that say that you “signed up” for there services, but before your able to see your way to coffee pot “Charlie” the master telemarketer, has called again with his this is your last chance deal!

As you nod your head with ‘uh huhs’ and agree with Charlie the master telemarketer, thinking he will just go away, you wonder if there is a way to get rid of these telemarketing callers once and for all! Slowly, you make your way over to the coffee pot which has now run over and the coffee grounds are spilling into your cup when you realize your son’s teenage girlfriend spent the night and is now standing in the hallway mortified because your in your boxer shorts and haven’t got any pants on!

If your tired of those pesky telemarketers and want some unique ways to distract these univited guests and maybe rid yourself of them once and for all read on:

Top Ten Telemarketing Calls:


1. If those telemarketers want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money and maybe they could lend you some of there’s!

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my hemorrhoids hurt and my dog just died..." When they try to get back to the sell, just continue your problems until they bail.

3. If they say they're John Doe from the Acme Company, Ask them to spell their name, Then have them repeat it. Then ask them to spell the company name, and then repeat it. (Hehe) Then ask them where it located, and repeat it very s-l-o-w-l-y. Eventually they’ll have the headache you started with when you got the call, and hang up!

4. Scare those telemarketers good with this one:In a screeching voice, cry out, in pure pleasure and surprise, "Tom!! Is this really you?  Tom, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Tom a few brief moments of terror as He tries to figure out where the hell He could know you from.

5. Say, "No", over and over. You remember this game ,yeah you used it to tick off your sister when you were ten! Just remember to say it after every three or four words they say. Make sure to interupt! This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

6. Here's a great telemarketing call ,If Alltel calls about "My family plan", reply, in a sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends for the my circle plan...would you be my friend huh really would you? I could use somone to talk to."

7. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, ( If they say yes make sure you get real loud and excited) say “you can?” Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood( said with real devious sinsiter tones). Then if they haven’t hung up yet tell them you have tried to find someone that can do that but they all turned you down or called the police.

8. Let the telemarketer give you thier best sales pitch, but make sure you seem interested  by responding"Uh-huh, really, or "That is incredible." Finally, when the telemarketer's ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but make sure you give the nail in the coffin tip and  tell them you couldn't live with yourself if you gave your credit card number to someone that’s a complete stranger so they will have to marry you.


9. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, shout or scream, "Oh, my God!!!", Breath real heavy, "Oh, my God!!!" then say “can you hang on a minute were almost finished” and then listen as they hang up.

10. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not alloud to give out their number, Then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home. (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers) *This tip thanks to Jerry Seinfeld It really works you’ll be surprised!

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Live Your Life and Stay Organized

The greatest challenges I face in meeting Life’s demands is making sure I have enough time to get everything done by their deadlines. It seems like my biggest problem is making sure I don’t get overwhelmed. I tend to take on more than I can handle because of my crazy need to get everything done in one darn day!

One of my worst negative aspects is procrastination, I know it's bad, I am working on it. Even though I have been working on prioritizing and making a schedule to ease my life and lesson the kayos I’m still a mess!

My girlfriend says I have been known to procrastinate just because I have other things I want to get done first! (Perfectionist or Stubbornness) lol
Well here is a lesson and a word to the wise, hopefully you won’t let this happen to you and buy a day planner to keep yourself better organized!

(This is how you can mess up your life by NOT prioritizing your responsibilities and taking on too much.)

Here's what I did last week that messed everything up for me and my kids. For example: My mother came to visit and did what all moms do, she told me my place was am mess and complained I hadn’t painted the walls in ten years and they needed tending to. So me in my stubbornness to prove to her I can take care of everything myself decide to paint my basement and laundry room last week ( which I had not planned to do or the time to do!) and didn’t account for the fact I would be totally exhausted by then end of the day. I also forgot that my daughters might be in a swim meet tournament if they won the next few nights. (Because their awesome, they did!)

Now I know from looking back, I had this in my computer calendar to remind me, I also had sticky notes, but being of my usual stubborn self, I wanted to get the darn painting done before thanksgiving. So I got up in the morning, without looking at my “to do “list and went right to it.

Throughout the day I ran out of paint, ran all over trying to match it, and forgot to wash the girls’ uniforms for their tournament, and their cookies for the party afterwards (I felt so bad talk about stress). I still had to make dinner, pack the girls up, and drive two towns away for the tournament; plus, I still hadn’t logged in to the computer and did my homework or posted to my blogs!

So the rest of the week was completely off because of all the mistakes and kayos I had inadvertently created for myself, while I spent the rest of my time backtracking to fix all the things I had originally organized on my “to do” lists. Needless to say, I was stressed out, felt sick with a headache and couldn’t sleep; plus I was very angry with myself for messing up the whole week!



Never give up whatever you do! Hopefully you will learn from my mistakes and invest in a good system that really works for you. The good news is these types of organizational problems can be avoided!

For example try getting a dry erase board, you can usually find them at Dollar general really affordable five dollars or so.

Once you have one, and then come the easy part, write down just the things you need to get done that day and place it where you walk by it all day long so you will trigger your mind to remember to stay focused and accomplish a whole lot more throughout the day.

This will make you feel exhilarated and pleased you accomplished it all by yourself! The rest of the week is just "one day at a time" so no stress and worries it will all come together and you will do just wonderfully!
For more information on how to stay organized :

http://www.ehow.com/how_4614648_overcome-jealousy.html

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How To Series: Stay Organized

Humor: Counseling

November 17,2008

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.


The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."






Want more? Check out these:

"Overcome Jealousy" http://www.ehow.com/how_4614648_overcome-jealousy.html

"Top Tips to Overcome Jealousy"http://hubpages.com/profile/Editorial+Nation

Dont Forget To Change The Clocks Back!

At 2:00 a.m. local on Sunday, most of the United States (except Hawaii and Arizona) will leave daylight saving time behind and fall back an hour to standard time.
The annoyance of resetting clocks (or forgetting to, and showing up an hour early for appointments on Sunday) may raise the question of why we bother with this rigmarole in the first place.

Daylight saving time is most often associated with the oh-so-sweet extra hour of sleep in fall (and the not-so-nice loss of an hour in spring), but some of the original reasons for resetting our clocks twice a year including saving energy and having more daylight hours for retailers, sporting events and other activities that benefit from a longer day.

As far back as the 1700s, people recognized the potential to save energy by jumping clocks ahead one hour in the summer - Benjamin Franklin even wrote about it - although the idea was not put into practice until the 20th century.

During both World Wars, the United States and Great Britain began observing daylight saving time. After the war, U.S. states were free to choose whether to observe daylight saving time and the calendar start dates of the time change. The result was time confusion for travelers and newscasters. In 1966, Congress enacted the Uniform Time Act, which stated that if any state observed daylight saving, it had to follow a uniform protocol, beginning and ending on the same dates throughout the country.

S

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20081031/sc_livescience/daylightsavingtimewhydidwedoit